Wandering forty years
around our destination.
Forty years
it takes to trust.
I ask to receive you.
The farthest from me
is still me.
I who wanted to hug you
was not the one you embraced.
How far would you walk
away from your self
in order to be
one with Hashem?
I taught myself
to like
every place I am.
I am not the only one afraid.
I saw once
in the eyes of an animal
what it means to be here.
The closer we near to our roots
the deeper they grow.
I do not have
much to give
yet.
But this learning heart.
You and your swollen desires
I hope you always
will come back to them.
The longer you stay
the farther leaving is.
Building slowly
each detail is intentional.
Waiting for you is a slow process.
How far does silence take us?
No reason to smile.
Internal battle and they do not read minds.
Each in their own way.
Leaving and returning.
But the soul is always
leading us home.
I came to tell you how much I love you.
I stayed because I do
and I will leave because I do.
To have two homes
and be placed always between them
is to have no home at all.
Loosening our grip.
Being without roots
is freeing but leaves us
fruitless.
Night
tells us where we are reaching
is where we
come from.
My whole life
I am divided into two places,
two families
and two ideas.
It is when I am with You
I am reunited
as one.
What we know
about being
does not justify
lack of humanity.
אחרי כל חיי
הגעתי לחיים אחרים
כאשר רצתי אליך
פתחת לי את השערים.
(After my whole life
I arrived to a different one
When I ran to You
You opened the gates to me.