I must build a home in my heart
With windows for sunlight
Build a home,
Where it hurts
While building myself a home,
I realize there are diamonds in my heart
There is beauty and ability
More stability than I have ever seen
Everything is up to me
I find myself here too often
It is a place
Living in my heart
Creeping in to every thought
I am a fragile graceful being
Strength holds my hand
Love pours from my lips
My eyes see beauty everywhere they look
I look into your eyes,
and my heart jumps from my chest and into your palms
and your eyes
and your smile
they hold medicine
to my pain
That I will not find anywhere else
Except for in my own heart
I am reminiscent of our sweetness
Forgetful of our flaws
Together, we are beautiful
There is thunder downstairs
It sounds terrifying.
I hope when I have a home of my
there is peace.
These walls provide a sanctuary
For now.
I feel fragile
as if I may break
I missed the sunset today
honey shield
I place over my swollen body
I created a boundary and no one
may break it except for my Mother
She understands
I feel fragile today
Do you know
how many times I vowed I would give you up?
that I wouldn’t need your love to feel I was enough?
Like an addiction,
I relapse.
All I am left with
Is my burning love for you
And each time
I know you are nearby,
I feel shivers down my spine
and now you won’t even look me in the eye
and we crave each other
But we will never touch again
I will write and write
Until my hands fall off
And my mouth cannot move anymore
to spill words from my tongue
I am hungry for something more.
I share my love
I’ve got so much to give
Yet I must leave enough for myself
To those who’ve ever wished
that they could feel nothing at all
That they could fall against the pavement
and no tears would fall
That they could see their scrapes and bruises
and they wouldn’t have to care
To those who’ve ever wished numbness
on themselves
I understand
The pain is too much
It becomes overwhelming
And you feel helpless
To those who feel they are drowning in a sea
I wish you will find your way
And I wrote this poem to say
I love you
There is no one like you
Embrace that
And you will swim through this sea,
it will become yours
What is your dream?
I want you to live it
This is my goodbye
Yes, I have decided
I will not turn back
For you
Or the feelings inside
Or for the thoughts that override
This is a goodbye to looking you in the eyes
Actually, I want one more time
To feel your arms
To see your smile
To look in your blue oceans
I despise you, crave you and love you all at once
I’d like to meet you again somewhere
Maybe I’ll drown in the memories
Monday I leave father’s house
Tuesday I visit my mother and brothers
Wednesday I go to father again
Thursday I’m far away, past the reservoir
Friday I go back to mothers house
Saturday mother takes me to the market
Sunday I sit alone in my room
You may
take what you like
and leave the rest.
For another day.
I have much to say.
When your mindset is different, listen.
You will heal
You deserve this
I will always love you
Our love
was intoxicating
It burned in my throat
and whole body
That’s why I left
You couldn’t understand
How your presence affected mine
I wish for my poetry to be painted
on the walls
I wish for my confidence
to grow
I wish for my family
to love one another
Eyes flutter
Frequently
Discomfort
is invalid here
Skin feels too tight
and eyes
shut
My love for you is growing weaker
My love is becoming less blind
I see you now for who you are
All shadows coming to light